Love

There are many different kinds of love. I must admit that I use this word often. Some people say they save it for those people in their lives that they truly love. I on the other hand use it to describe life in general. I believe that hanging around with people from England has allowed me to pick up the term "love" when greating someone or addressing them "hi love", "okay love"....a term of endearment i guess one might call it, mainly used with my patients. When i get really excited about things I will often say "i love this"...love as described towards people in my life comes at a whole different level. The love I have for my family is something that goes beyond love, my very essence comes from that love. A love that holds things together, a love that is constantly being refilled and overflowing, a love that never stops giving...this is where i've developed my passion for love and loving. Yes, without God being the foundation of my family, I don't believe that my life would be the way it is. I don't believe i know how to do anything part way. It's pretty much all or nothing with me.

I find it very interesting that most peoples deepest desire is simply to be loved. They go searching for it in so many different places, hoping to find it, hoping to grasp it, hoping to taste just a little bit of it. Looking in every place they can think of, only to come up empty handed. Real love, true love is a gift. It can't be found anywhere that a human can look, but a gift from up above. I gave up looking a long time ago, knowing that God would bring the man into my life who will be my match to my love. He told me a long time ago, "wait on me...I'm getting him ready for you..but you must be strong and wait on me." God knows what qualities will complete me, he knows what characteristics will make my heart sing. For me to go looking for something that is not mine to find, is unreasonable to me. Why should I search for someone that God is preparing for me? If he was ready for me, then God would have brought him into my life already. Why is it so often we end up getting in our own way? Finding those things we think we enjoy, but realizing we're just settling for something that doesn't fulfill us the way we think we should. What if the man that God is preparing for me is ready, but God's still working on me? How am I limiting my life from allowing God to work His wonders? Why have I tried to be in the driver seat when I have absolutely no idea where I'm driving towards? Why is it so hard to let go of the control I think I have on my life? Where did the carefree Renee go, who trusted God completely and would wait for years, fully content on whatever it was God had for her? It's easy to be that way when you keep your life busy. Filled with tasks, homework, sports, music, all the little things that can take up our time. What happened to just being content with silence? With the peacefulness that God has waiting for me. Going to go take some time and ponder this.....